Fellowship with other couples, learn how they made it work.
M=managing the merge of skills, talents, traditions, gifts, disfunction, imperfection, hurts and the past.
A= accepting you are accountable to the family.
R=release of your way for our way.
R=relationship building, takes time, don't rush the process.
I=interdependence, imperfect people becoming one person (The Marriage) with separate personalities.
A=available to the other, to listen, comfort, support, encourage and help develop into the person God created them to be.
G=giving God room to work out his plan
E=expect change, experience it together enjoy the journey of becoming one.
Marriage is a choice that transforms into a decision that morphs into a Life.
Please check out the articles on the right.
Our Story, HIS Glory
The War is Real...
Marriage Definition
AFTER THE I DO's
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Kingdom Marriage or SELF?
You agreed to accept this person as they are, flaws, quirks, gifts, skills, talents, and personality included, when you said I do. With the understanding that you are not perfect, neither are they. You said I do to this flawed person, promising to love, honor, and live with them until your last breath. You told them in public that you accept them for who they are. You adore them and want to spend the rest of your life with them.
Life hits back after the I Do's...
You don't want to put in the work.
You don't want to after the honeymoon period is over and the work of building the relationship becomes a reality. Did your word mean anything to you? Does it have any value? Your word is your bond, or should be. You might think I like them, but I wasn't expecting this or that. I expected things to be different after we married.
You said I do, and now you don't want to work on your relationship; you don't want to be one. You want to maintain your independence rather than risk interdependence for fear of losing control. If this describes you, I'd like to welcome you to married life.
Many people enter marriage with their eyes closed, believing that it will be like in the movies, on television, or in their own home. Never realizing that each marriage is unique, the marriage is a mixed union, and they are made up of parts of them. Every marriage has its own distinct personality. I've been married for 30 years, and in that time, I've seen my perspective on this or that change, my perspective on what I thought about this or that morph into a variation of my thoughts and my wife's thoughts.
If the two do not become one, they are on the road to divorce, dysfunction, and division.
Many people are legally married but not in love. Law is rules and regulations, and love is the death of your will in exchange for our joint will. Kingdom Marriage was a difficult concept for me to grasp. I don't like losing or surrendering control. In essence, when it comes to controlling things, I am selfish. When it comes to something important to me, I want to be able to control every aspect of it. This attitude is not conducive to a Kingdom Marriage.
Controlling and self-centered behavior makes the spouse feel undervalued, unnecessary, and, worst of all, unloved. I spent a significant amount of my married life doing this to my wife.
Controlling and self-centered behavior makes the spouse feel undervalued, unnecessary, and, worst of all, unloved. I spent a significant amount of my married life doing this to my wife.
I made her feel as if she was impeding progress. She was getting in the way of me getting what I wanted. She wasn't getting in the way of my life. Your spouse is a barometer of your personal development. They will point out where you are going wrong. They will show you that you are not perfect in some way. Accept that you don't know everything; that you are flawed; and that they can share themselves with you outside of the bedroom. Allow them to enter your life and take up residence. Many people marry with the intention of reaping all of the benefits while avoiding the pain associated with maturation. They want to build walls, fences, and dig motes around them and their belongings, especially their hearts. I was that person who didn't want to share myself with my wife except when it came to physical intimacy. The rest of me was mine, and she didn't have to see or be a part of it. They were private, I was going about my business, and she was just along for the ride.
She used to say that we were supposed to be doing life together. What exactly are you doing? The typical response would be, "You're right, but I never opened the door to let her in." She's banging on the doors and windows of my life, and I'm talking to her from behind them. Never once did I let her in completely. There were times when I would crack the door, she would do or say something hurtful, and I would slam it shut. To be sure, I rarely told her what she did that caused me to shut down.
The communication was superficial; it was all surface chatter. The weather, kids, bills, and necessities were all safe topics. When it came to my person's well, no way, no how; you will not be drawing from this well. I took the bucket, cut the rope, and covered them thoroughly with a 5 ton of you; now you must be blocked.
We're now in the same place but on different planets, all because I refused to relinquish control. This has been going on for years, and if I am not careful, that person will peek his head out and want to lock her out again. That person is my younger self. Whoever wants what he wants does not like to share and quickly takes his ball and leaves. We all have a child inside of us that doesn't get along with others.
Don't ruin your marriage because you want to do things your way. Give in to each other and create a life together. Life is difficult enough without adding to it by being a spoiled brat. Don't say I do if you don't want to put in the effort.
2020 brought us the pandemic and shed a bright light on the corrosive nature of systemic racism globally. America led in this destructive practice, with the senseless killing of unarmed black & brown people throughout history. With a flawed justice system, Police brutality on black & brown bodies continues.
We saw White Evangelicals call for civil war in the name of God. We all watched in horror as George Floyd was murdered right before us. Civil unrest in Minneapolis and around the Globe erupted after the murder of George Floyd. Black Lives Matter, Me Too, and Cancel Culture are all words of the day. Everyone is pointing fingers at everyone else. Few, if any, are owning their part in the destruction of humanity.
President Donald J Trump led the charge in fake news, the false allegation from the White House pointing to voter fraud and a stolen election, all baseless claims. America, the world as a whole, is hurting. The genie is out of the bottle, and we have some significant issues in the world.
The organized Church should have been the light in the darkness, and they dug into the division. Spread lies, hate, and false information that fanned the flames of chaos. What are we to do as Sons of God?
Suppose God does pick sides; whose side is he on? The Republican or the Democrat, the right or the left? God is not on either side; besides, should it be our goal to be on the side of God?
God is always on the side of truth; America, we are not the truth. Jesus is the truth, the way, and the life. No one can come to the Father except by him. America, you are deceived; they are under the impression that the enemy is another person when in reality, the enemy is within. The truth is we are warring against the wrong enemy. We are fighting on false fronts. The Battle is not external alone, the war is real, but your fellow man is not the enemy.
On the surface, it looks like the world is crazy, evil is running rampant. In War Roo2m we understand that the answer is simple. As sons of God we are fully aware that we are not at war with flesh and blood. Our enemy is not made of flesh and bone, but is spiritual. Jesus gave us the answer over 2000 years ago in Matthew 22:35-40 36
“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
War Roo2m is a place where you can come to learn how to apply the great commandment to your daily life as Sons of God.
Made in his image, he is our beginning, our end, and all we need to be successful. Since we are made in the image of the highest God? Why do we bend our will to the lowest part of our nature? God said,
“Let’s make man in our image, after our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the sky, and over the livestock, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
Genesis 1:26
We as men are always searching for significance, position, power, and authority. With this vain search, we are always looking without when the answer is within. If you want to know who you are and why you are here, go to the source. Spend some quality time with the Father. He created you for his purpose; your life is not your own. You have been bought with a price. Once we come into the knowledge of who we are as sons of God, our LIFE Story will be the tool that he uses for HIS Glory.