SPLIT VISION

I can see what is in front of me, but only so far. I can remember what is behind me but only so far. I am standing in now, split between then and there, neglecting the now. I have a simple disorder called split vision.

I can't see my gifts, talents, and skills because I have split my vision between my past and future.

I am floating, never making real strides, trapped between two worlds now and the past, no growth suffering from a vision divided.

Until I learn to live in my present, I will never produce the greatness designed to achieve by the creator who hand-picked, crafted me.

I woke up one morning with this terrible headache; my head was pounding so much it felt as though a hammer hit me in the head, blunt force trauma.

I was crawling on the floor, reaching for my phone to call for help. The pain debilitating it was causing me to cry, curl up like an infant child, not able to think clearly, barely could move, this was wild.

I was scared of what was going on; I thought my brain was going to explode. I did something that I have never done in my life until that point. I cried out loud, Jesus, help me. Please, Lord, I am dying; I need you. It took everything in my being to do it, but I did. When I cried out, I said, Help me, what is this?

What felt like hours was a moment; I heard a voice say, it is you. You are doing this; accept the gift. What gift? Accept the gift, again, I replied, still writhing in pain. What gift Lord? What are you asking me?

The reply was to accept the gift of today the present. Accept the gift of now; you are in pain because your focus and vision split between what is and what has been. You are mentally, emotionally tearing yourself apart. The past is gone, now is all that matters. Accept the gift of now.

You are too busy thinking about them and worrying about the future that you are causing yourself pain. Stop it, accept the gift. Live in the moment. The more the Lord spoke, it seemed like the pain intensified, it got worse, I was never able to make it to the phone to call for help.

I was just there on the floor in my room, paralyzed by pain on the floor. Not able to move, all I could do was think to myself, within myself, even that hurt. I thought, how do I do that? Please help me; the pain is getting progressively worse. I will not make it through this moment, I thought.

The Lord came back with, stop, be still and be thankful. I said, stop what? He said, worrying about the future. Be still in your spirit and be thankful for all you went through. I said I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to stop.
He said, do you trust me? I said yes, I trust you. Then trust me with your future. At the moment, I said I trust you with my future, and I thank you for my past. The pain stopped almost instantly.

Even though the pain stopped, I remained in that position for a few moments longer, learning how to be still. I share this with you for two reasons: most of the pain we feel in life is self-inflicted. I do not deny that people cause us pain as well. I am making the point that most of our pain is self-inflicted; we refuse to accept today's gift, i.e., the present. We refuse to trust God with our future, learn from our past, give thanks for making it through the pains of life. Growth happens in the space between the faith of better and the presence of discomfort.

The second reason I share this is to say there is a way out. You, too, can get up from the lowest spot of your pain-filled life. All of your pain, anxiety, doubts, along with your fears, give it all to Jesus. Giving it to Jesus, trusting him with your future does not mean you will never feel pain again, know that when you do, you'll have somewhere to turn.

You will have hope and a future that all things will work out for you in the end, and it will be for your good. You can be still in knowing that despite all that you may be going through, in the end, it does work out for your betterment.

Stop having a Split vision and get a single vision and let that be on Jesus the Christ, knowing that he is the giver of peace, hope through it all. Jesus is not surprised when life hits you in the head, and he is not throwed-off, shook, or knocked out of the game when something unforeseen happens to you. He is never surprised, nor will he ever be surprised by what has happened, what is happening, and what will happen to you. He loves you so much that he gave his life for you before you had a life to live. Accept the gift and live in the present with your eyes fixed on him.